Kamlyn’s Diary: August 20, 2013

I tried all night to forget about that man I met yesterday and what he told me, but it’s impossible. Impossible to forget and impossible to be real. As the day wore on, what he said felt sillier and more improbable to me. What I saw in Danny’s room that night started to blur in my memory again and it was easier for me to brush off what Don said as nonsense. But as the day faded away and my room was blanketed in darkness, the image of the thing became crisp again. I could see it’s scraggly black hair swirling around its head as it pierced my ears with its wicked scream. I could smell its stench of rotten food as if it lingered in my nostrils still. Cara came upstairs frequently to check on me, but I wouldn’t open the door and wouldn’t turn on the lights. I just sat there in the dark, believing everything Don said to me again.

I fell asleep for a few short hours, which was a mistake as always. I was thrown back into the night Danny died. Again, I couldn’t do anything to save my son. I fought my way to the hooded demon-figure, but no matter what I did, it was untouchable. Danny was already gone. There was nothing I could do. I woke up in a mixture of sweat and tears just as the sun was creeping in through the curtains. I expected my feelings to return to sanity with the morning light as they had the day before- that Don’s words would feel silly floating around in my head again, but they didn’t. Every single thing he said made sense still.

I know now that I have to see him again. I have to learn more about this to try to understand why it happened to us…to Danny…to me. I have to understand. I’m going to go back to his house today. I hope he’s there. He never told me what he did for a living, if he worked at all.

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PROFILE: Kamlyn Paige

Kamlyn Paige

Birthday: January 13, 1989

Hair: Long, wavy, brown

Eyes: Gray-blue

Height: 5’4″

Personality Traits:

Shy (at first) – We see this mostly in Earth Angel as Kamlyn interacts with the men she meets on the road during her hunt. When John Weston from Washington pursues her while she tries to rid him of a vengeful ghost, she often feels awkward and stammers. When she meets Sari in Nebraska, Kamlyn often questions why he would even want to talk to her. She doesn’t know what to say to him and prefers to listen to him rather than talk about herself.

Sarcastic – Kamlyn is mostly sarcastic with the ones who are closest to her, Cara Bellamy and Don Vander. The more time she spends with Sari and the closer they become, the more comfortable she is with showing him this side of her.

Loyal – Kamlyn keeps her friends close and never lets them go. She has been best friends with Cara Bellamy since the first grade (18 years and counting). She’s been very close with Don Vander since the day they met back in 2013, and even though they haven’t been friends for even two years, she considers him family and often looks to him as a big brother-figure. As Sari becomes a more important man in Kamlyn’s life while he helps her search for her son’s murderer, she has the overwhelming desire to protect him from harm and save him when he needs it.

Honest – Kamlyn has no qualms with telling people the truth, even if it hurts. She would rather them know what she’s really thinking than to have them left in the dark. She expects others to treat her with this same respect.

Family-oriented – Kamlyn loved her mother and father and showed it more often than most teenagers might. She got along with them and looked up to them while they were alive. When she got pregnant, she often thought about her parents and how they raised her, realizing the great job they did and how much she wants her own parenting style to resemble theirs. When Kamlyn finally has her baby boy, Danny, at the age of eighteen, she is immediately in love with him. She always kept him close and spent all her time helping him and teaching him. When she lost Danny abruptly, it almost caused her to lose herself completely. She considered suicide on more than one occasion to be reunited with him and her parents.

Focused – Once Kamlyn decided she believed Don about Danny’s murderer being a demon, she dedicated herself to finding and destroying that demon. From that moment on, she was completely focused on nothing but her training and her hunt. When she was in high school, she was so focused on being a journalist for the school newspaper that she put her actual school work on the back burner.

Somewhat bitter – Kamlyn often says things to express her bitter attitude towards her life. Her son’s father left her, she lost her parents, and saw her own child being murdered. It’s hard for her not to let that affect her outlook on life and how it repeatedly seems to treat her.

Sensitive – Kamlyn carries a lot around with her, not letting things go easily. Even though she may look like she’s doing okay on the outside, that’s because she buries her pain deep down inside her to appear strong. She doesn’t often forget the wrongs done to her, though.

Smart – Even though Kamlyn didn’t apply herself in high school and didn’t end up going to college, she has a strong thirst for knowledge and learning. She learns best “on-the-job” and when she really loves what she’s doing, whether it’s getting rid of a ghost or writing a new article for the school newspaper, she excels at it.

Stuck in the past – Kamlyn can’t let go of what happened to her parents or her son. She continually dreams about Danny and thinks about what it would be like if he were still alive, forgetting to live in the present. She has yet to move on from her losses.

Likes to blend in rather than be the center of attention – Part of this is due to her job. She thinks if she rolls into a town unseen, gets rid of whatever monster it is that’s plaguing it, and sneaks off without anyone noticing that it’s best for everyone involved. Sometimes she has to do illegal things in order to protect people and she likes to avoid being a suspect at all cost. Part of this desire to blend in also comes from her self-esteem. She’s shy and not very outgoing. It’s easier for her to keep quiet and fade into the background than put herself out there and possibly get rejected.

Loves coffee – This is self-explanatory. Kamlyn loves a good steaming cup of hot coffee. Hunting can be an exhausting and demanding job. She can go days without getting more than a few hours of sleep. Caffeine is a must when she’s focused.

Selective of those she allows close to her – Kamlyn only has a handful of people she considers her friends and family. Everyone else she keeps at arms length and does not allow them into her world. This could be because of the way she was raised. She was so close to her parents and Cara as a child that she never felt the need to reach out to others to fill any void. She felt like she had everything she needed between those three people in her life. When she finally let someone else in, her high school boyfriend, Rob, he abandoned her in her time of need. When he found out she was pregnant he tried to convince her to get rid of the baby. When she wouldn’t, he left her and she never saw him again.

Still believes the best in people – Kamlyn sees a lot of awful things while hunting. Most of the time it’s monsters, ghosts, and demons, but occasionally she has to deal with the horrible things that people do to other people. Despite all this, Kamlyn believes in offering her trust and loyalty first and hoping that people live up to it. She will be someone’s greatest friend until they deceive her.

Desires love and normalcy – Kamlyn only had one boyfriend in all her twenty-five years and she craves the love she felt with him. Before she got pregnant, Rob was sweet and affectionate with her. She hasn’t felt that closeness to another man since then. She doesn’t want to drag someone else into her scary world and is also afraid that no one would want to put up with it. It seems to her like everyone she loves ends up dead. She’s afraid to be the reason that anyone else dies around her. She also craves a normal life again. Ever since her son’s murder, she’s become painfully aware to all that lurks in the shadows and wishes that she could go back to being oblivious to it all. There’s still that desire to fall in love, settle down, and start a family again. She just believes it’ll never be possible- that there’s no going back with everything she’s seen.

Supernatural Abilities:

– She can kill with the light inside of her by concentrating it into her palm and shooting it at her victim.

– She can disappear from one place and reappear in another (she later learns to bring people with her).

– She can see the dead and speak with them easily. They often appear to her before others.

– She can travel anywhere in the world just by closing her eyes and searching with her mind.

– She heals quicker than most humans.

Background: Childhood

Kamlyn was born during a blizzard in January of ’89. Winter has always been her favorite time of year and many of the great things that happened in her life happened while it was snowing; including the birth of her son. The day Kamlyn met her best friend Cara, they were in separate classes in the first grade. It was a snowy day in February and both classes decided to combine their recesses so the kids could have extra time to play in the snow. Kamlyn immediately threw herself in the snow and started to make a snow angel. It wasn’t a minute later that Cara did the same right next to Kamlyn, fortifying heir lifelong friendship. In Hunted Angel, it’s snowing the night she goes to the Civil Ball with the Civil War ghost, Thaddeus, and finds her new dog, Blue.

Kamlyn’s mother was a stay-at-home mom up until Kamlyn was in middle school. They spent a lot of time together after school doing various arts and crafts. Her mother saved everything Kamlyn ever wrote or made in organized bins in their garage. After Kamlyn met Cara, they spent every single day together. Most days, Cara would come over after school to play and do crafts. They had many sleepovers at eachother’s houses. Cara became very close with Kamlyn’s parents and vice versa. If Kamlyn stayed the nigh at Cara’s on a Saturday, she was required to attend church with Cara and her parents the following morning. Kamlyn’s family never went to church, except occasionally on holidays. When Kamlyn went to church with Cara, she spent her time listening to the sermons and questioning religion as whole, not quite sure what she believed and what she didn’t. She considered herself agnostic, but liked the wholesome community connection church offered, which is why she wasn’t opposed to going every once-in-a-while.

As Kamlyn and Cara got older, they still didn’t venture much outside of their friendship duo. Other friends would come and go, but they never took time off from eachother. Most evenings after school were spent reading together and watching movies. Sometimes they would act out their favorite scenes from their favorite Disney movies. Cara loved the Disney Princess movies most while Kamlyn was drawn more towards the animal Disney movies, like The Lion King and The Fox and the Hound.

In high school, when Kamlyn joined the school’s newspaper team her sophomore year, she would always have Cara read her articles before they were published. She welcomed her opinions and criticisms to better her writing. Though Cara loved to read as much as Kamlyn did, she never really had the desire to write. She was more content with getting lost in the words and worlds of other writers, such as Kamlyn. Over the years, Kamlyn made several attempts at writing novels and short stories in her spare time. Cara was always the first to read these and always enjoyed them.

Letter to Kamlyn from her Parents’ Will

Will last updated on August 16, 2007

Dearest Kamlyn,

I’m sorry if you ever have to read this, because that means I’m no longer there for you. It breaks my heart to bare the thought you have to go through so much of your life without your mother, especially with a baby on the way. When we found out you were pregnant, your father and I decided to update our will and set aside money for both you and the baby. If we end up leaving you early, we want you to have the house. It would mean so much to us to have you raise your own baby in the house where you were raised. I’ve arranged for you to receive your college fund early and in the full amount. I understand if you don’t want to go right away as planned due to the baby. Family comes first. You can always pursue your education at a later date, but the time you have with your child is something you can never get back once it’s gone. With that in mind, we would not be disappointed if you decided to use your college fund to be able to stay at home the first year or so with your baby.

We have also set up funds for your baby’s education. This was originally a fund for your future brother or sister, but seeing as your father and I couldn’t conceive a baby after you were born, it only makes sense for the money to go to your baby. He or she should be covered for basic schooling, whether you decide to go public or private. You should have more than enough for either one. There is also a college fund equivalent to your own. The lawyer should explain it all to you, but I felt I should do my part as well. Having a lawyer tell you all this just felt so cold and impersonal to me. I want you to know how much your father and I love you and already love your little baby growing inside you. I know we were in a state of shock when we first found out about your pregnancy, but we couldn’t be happier that you are going to experience the joys of motherhood. It will make you grow up so fast, but there’s no greater happiness for a woman than becoming a mother. And of course, as your mother, I have to pass down my motherly wisdom to you, so here it is…

A newborn should have whatever they want so don’t worry about finding a schedule so early. You two will find your rhythm in time.

Try to sleep whenever the baby sleeps. It’s good for your mental health and will help to keep your stress levels low when the baby is crying in the middle of the night. And don’t forget to take care of yourself. Eat plenty and get out with Cara once in awhile.

Don’t buy a bunch of newborn clothes. They grow out of them so fast. It’s better to put your baby in something too big rather than something too small.

You don’t need to worry about dating or finding a father for your baby right now. I know everyone says a child needs a mother and a father, but I know you. Your baby will do just fine with only you as his or her parent. In the years to come, your baby will meet many valuable male role models. If Rob changes his mind, don’t deny him as much contact with his baby as he wants. He’s still the child’s father. But don’t take him back for that reason only. If he wants to be back in your life, then he needs to work for it and prove his loyalty.

Keep your friends close. They’ll be a great help to you in times of need.

And don’t go crazy with the money we give you. I know you’re not a materialistic person, but just make sure you make it last as long as you can. That’s more time at home with your little bundle.

That’s all I can think of at the moment. I just know I’m forgetting so much. It breaks my heart to know so much I have left to teach you will have no choice, but to die with me. You’re a smart, beautiful, driven young woman. I know you’ll be fine on your own and you’ll make a wonderful mother. I just wish I could be there to meet my grandbaby and see you both grow-up. Keep me always in your heart. I love you more than anything. Don’t ever forget that.

Love,

Your Mother XoXo

P.S. Your father would like to add a few of his own words.

Kamlyn,

I don’t know what happens after we die, but wherever I go I know I’ll be missing you. I know your mother covered most everything, but I couldn’t leave without saying my own goodbye to you. We always had our own special bond, you and I. I see so much of myself in you- my focus, my determination, my stubbornness, my somewhat unconventional way of learning and our own special thrive for knowledge. The older you got, the more you became my best friend as well as my only, beautiful daughter. It’s nice to know I’l be able to live on through you and my grandbaby. Don’t forget to take care of the truck and show the baby how to keep up with it, too. Whether it’s a boy or girl, it’s always important they know the basics of handy-work, truck and around the house. Don’t forget all that I’ve taught you over the years. And don’t give up on your dream of being a journalist. You’re a great writer with a real gift. Don’t waste it.

I love you so much and I’m always thinking of you,

Your loving Dad and friend

Kamlyn’s Diary: August 19, 2013

I thought I was ready. I thought I could leave the house and not breakdown, but I was wrong.

I tried to go for a walk around my neighborhood this morning. I’d been up all night. I’m afraid to go to sleep. If I go to sleep, I’ll see it all over again- I’ll see Danny leaving me again, and I know I can’t handle it. So, I stayed awake. When I saw the sun coming in through the windows, I decided it would be the best time to try to go outside and clear my mind as best I could. It’s Monday so everyone going to work would have already walked their dogs and went on their morning jogs by then. School traffic hadn’t yet started- the kids were all just waking up if I remembered correctly from my high-school days. It was a rare time in my suburban neighborhood where the sidewalks were silent. I tried to take advantage of that.

I’ve lived in my house all my life, so there was nothing new for me to be distracted by while walking. That’s what I’ll blame for what happened. I walked in a daze for what felt like hours, but I’m sure it wasn’t. Time doesn’t move the same anymore without Danny. It’s cruel. Most days it slows down to a crawl, like today. When my thoughts became too much for me to bare any longer, I had no choice but to let it all out. I leaned against a tree for support as the poisonous tears poured from my eyes. When my body started to shake, I let myself crumble. I slid down the tree’s trunk and fell into a misshapen heap of sorrow at the bottom. I didn’t think anyone saw me. If I’m being honest, I forgot I was out in public all together. I was in my own world where the only thing I could see was my son’s soft, beautiful face. The only thing I could hear was his high, melodic laugh. And the scent of the crisp air and freshly cut grass was masked by the clean powdered smell of Danny’s curly blond hair. How else was I supposed to handle that? How could I have thought there would be a moment in my life when my senses would fail and leave me in peace?

There was a man on his porch watching my entire episode. He must have been waiting for a break in my sobs to say something, but when he realized there wasn’t going to be one he just went on ahead and interrupted. Of course, he was concerned. Maybe he thought I was crazy. If I saw someone else acting like I was, I would probably call the police, thinking there was something seriously wrong with them. Well, there was something seriously wrong with me, but I wasn’t dangerous. He asked if I was okay. Those words jerked me right out of the world I was in and my neighborhood came back into focus. I’d never seen this man before. I didn’t know everyone in my neighborhood, but I’d seen all of them around on atleast one occasion, but not him. He beckoned me over to join him on his porch swing. Normally I wouldn’t go to him. I would’ve made up some excuse to go home. I would’ve been beat red from embarrassment, but I wasn’t. It’s hard to feel anything anymore aside from my agonizing pain and despair. I sat down next to him on his swing, drifting back into my zombie-like state of depression while I waited for him to say more.

I don’t know what made me do it, but I told him, in very short, quick words, what happened to make me fall apart like I did. He didn’t say much, except that he read about it in the paper. He didn’t reach out to me to console me and didn’t bombard me with apologies. Those were the things that made what happened all too real for me. Instead he opened up to me about his own loss. He used to have a family. They lived in my neighborhood the whole time. Somehow they’d flown under my radar. I must have been too young to remember them. Don said they were murdered ten years ago. That’s his name- Don Vander. Apparently, they never found who murdered his wife and child, but he had his own ideas on who it was. I don’t know if he’s crazy or not. It’s completely possible and understandable after witnessing what he did, like I did. I sat there in silence, listening to him, wondering how long it would take for me to go entirely insane, like him. He told me his family was murdered, right before his very eyes, by a demon. When he said this, he looked at me with a straight face. There was no hint of a joke in his eyes or anything. I wasn’t sure what else to do except nod and stare back blankly. I didn’t get up and leave or tell him he was nuts. I didn’t even question him. I just let him talk.

His story was amazing, not because of its great improbability, but because of its resemblance to what I witnessed on the night of Danny’s murder. It was almost identical to what I’d seen. Suddenly, I wasn’t questioning his sanity, but hanging on his every word. I didn’t dare interject for fear of distracting him. When he was done he fell silent and continued to rock the swing we were sitting on back and forth slowly. I told him it was nice to meet him and thanked him for talking with me. I apologized for him having to see me in such a state. I don’t know why. I just felt like it was something I should say sorry for. I walked back home with a new fervor. I ran up the stairs past Cara, who was sipping on her morning coffee in the living room while she flipped through the morning paper before work. She hollered after me, but I ignored her. I slammed my bedroom door and leaned against it, heaving to catch my breath.

I couldn’t help questioning what I believed after hearing Don’s story. A demon. How could that be real? But then again, I’d been wondering how I could have really seen what I saw that night, too. Both seemed impossible. A demon. A demon? Really? I’m trying to write out my thoughts in hope that they’ll become more clear, but they’re not. The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that what I saw in Danny’s bedroom that night was a demon.